Monday, July 11, 2011

I’m one earring short of a full lobe!!!

That’s a little earring humor that I use on my wife since I've been using her earrings to fish with. If you are new to this post read the Earring Tackle post below first to understand the whole story.

IT ALL STARTED the other day when I could swear my wife was wearing a pair of my spoon fishing lures. At that moment I had an epiphany or I think that is what it was, but it could have been that chilli-burger yesterday. I digress. Anyway, can you catch fish on jewelry? I decided to find out, except I needed jewelry.  Wifey doesn’t like to fish at all, but likes to eat fish. I think this played into my amazing ability to talk her out of her earrings, although it could have been my epiphany and she wanted me out of the house as fast as possible. One treble hook later, I had Earring Tackle.
Fast forward. Here I am, on the river, sitting in my kayak with my fishing pole in hand and earring tackle knotted on my line. The first cast was good, nice weight, easy hitting target, runs about 2 inches below water, and shiny, but very little action. That could be an issue. However, it looks like a fish could confuse it for last months, 13 year cicada with those big orange eyes. Cast 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,…..15 and I’m starting to get a little concerned, 34, 35, 36 and bang, I get a bite. I start to reel and notice that the fish seems to be small but a fighter. I wondered what kind of fish enjoys women’s earrings. Could it be a Largemouth, Smallmouth, Rock Bass or Catfish? Here it is my first fish catch on jewelry tackle.
I have answered the question; you can catch fish on your wife’s jewelry. Now I find myself staring at women and thinking, WOW I wonder what I could catch with those earrings. I have found that you don’t stare too long or the women run off. Did you know that there’s a store called Clarie’s where you can buy 10 earrings for 10 bucks, 20 lures for .50 cents each? Dang, this could be big, imagine Claire’s Earring Tackle Fishing Tournament. I can see it now, the winner of the Earring Tackle Fishing Tournament caught the winning fish, a 9 pound largemouth, on a pair of his wife’s danglers.

In closing I would like to say-- Hi, I’m Osprey and I like women’s jewelry, to fish with. Sometimes it’s good to be one earring short of a full lobe. I hope you enjoyed the humor! Remember: What’s in your lake, river, bay or woods? Get away from the big screen and get on a big stream!     

9 comments:

Mel said...

Enjoyed the follow up post to your previous one on "Earring Tackle". Congratulations on catching a fish or two with your new idea. Keep up the research, your a Pioneer!

Larry Oldfield said...

Yep, now I'm trying to figure out how to use her fish net hose to catch bait in.

Theresa said...

You tackled that story pretty good, Larry. I'm guessing you've got a lock on your tackle box just in case the wife has similar ideas to make some luring jewelry creations!

Theresa said...

You tackled that story pretty good, Larry. I'm guessing by now you've got a lock on your tackle box just in case the wife has similar ideas to make some luring jewelry creations!

Larry Oldfield said...

All locked up!

Carol said...

Hey, some of my favorite earrings I've made out of lures. Unique, colorful, great conversation starters!

Larry Oldfield said...

Carol, kind of funny how earring wear and fishing tackle are similar.

Theresa said...

It's even more funny that people often use fishing as an analogy for "catching" a mate. And since I'm still single, I guess I haven't used the right lures to tackle a mate!!

Larry Oldfield said...

As an old fisherman once said: If you're not catching fish that are keepers then you need to change to a new pond.