Georgia on my mind! Part 2

This is part 2 of the last post, Georgia on my mind, where the family and I  traveled to Atlanta for an action packed trip. Not a trip fishing, but a trip to a fishing store!

I have been wanting to visit an Orvis store (it's a premier outdoor store for you indoor types) for a while. This will be my first visit and I can't wait.  As we pulled in, you won’t believe it! In the parking lot they have parking spaces labeled “For ODS Customers Only”. Have you ever heard of ODS? At first, I thought it must be for an Orvis Designated Shopper, but that doesn't make any sense? I asked my wife if she had seen anything like that at the shoes, jewelry, dress, etc…stores and she hadn’t. 

I went in and just had to ask about the sign. I was told that ODS stands for Outdoor Deficit Syndrome and the parking spaces are for those who suffer from this syndrome. A syndrome in which an individual prefers to spend all their time indoors in front of a screen rather than being in the Great Outdoors on an adventure. Yes, it is sad. The spaces are located near the door to help the ODS folks get inside so we can help them. Metaphorically speaking, sometimes you must go inside to get outside! After I heard this I quickly ran out of the store--To move my car. Hopefully, you have figured out that this was a joke and Orvis doesn’t have such parking spaces. Just a little humor! 

For real, the Orvis store was very nice. A river stone fireplace was the main focus. The shop had lots of top quality gear that included a fly shop, dog supplies, outdoor clothing and gear . I did see the wife eyeing a nice, big dog bed. Hmmm, not sure why because we don't have a dog? Anyway, the sales folks were friendly and knowledgeable. In fact, I spoke to an associate named Drew about kayaking for a while and yes, I did make a purchase. I bought an Orvis cap. It’s nice to see an outdoor store successfully competing against indoor companies. I learned that there's 50 stores around the country and hope that Nashville will have one soon.

After finishing everyone's agenda, the Mall, the Container store, Ikea, and the American girl doll shop, etc...we headed back to Nashville and to the ten acre woods. 


Is it good luck when a moth is at the door? When we arrived home we were greeted by this little feller on our door step. It is an Imperial Moth. I have seen only a few and it's always around the summer time. They feed on broad leaf foliage and are only East of the Rockies. 

Unfortunately, they are becoming rare because they hang around artificial lights too long and are eaten by birds. 


The trip was over and I opened the door to go indoors, hope you enjoyed. Remember: What’s in Your woods, river, lake or bay? Don’t get ODS so get outside! 

Georgia on my mind!

Hey, I just returned from an action packed trip to Atlanta with the family (wife and the two teens). I had two destinations on my agenda, the Georgia Aquarium to see fish and the Orvis Store. On a side note, our eighteen year old will be headed to college soon (The University of the South: Sewanee) so this may be our truly last family trip. The good news, Sewanee owns 13,000 acres of nature so she won’t miss The Ten Acre Woods.


We drove down from Nashville and it was a nice drive, except that my new GPS turned out to be a dumb dumb if you know what I mean. Luckily, I have multiple GPS’s and I switched over to the old faithful Garmin. I like using a GPS on trips. Do you know how husbands and wives argue about directions in a car, well that all stopped when we purchased our first GPS.  Now we both argue with the GPS, its teamwork! I must admit, it’s really funny when she argues with it and it quietly tells her where to go--- Take the next right to Hale Street, Hee Hee, I’m in trouble now!

First on the agenda was the Georgia Aquarium. I know, for the outdoor enthusiasts seeing fish in a tank is not an adventure, but this was big fish in a big tank. Heck, I once fished in an aquarium and caught a goldfish when I was six. It turned out to be my aquarium’s record catch for goldfish. The Georgia Aquarium is no kid aquarium, its gimongus. In this aquarium there were thousands of fish and the best thing is the clear tube that you walk through under the largest tank. We saw sharks, grouper, and two whale sharks that were as big as a school bus. I couldn’t believe it, but we didn’t see a Georgia Bass, dang! 

The Georgia Aquarium was great! Also, I have been to the Chattanooga Aquarium and it’s also a must see.


Next up, was the Orvis store (a premier outdoor store for you indoor types). This is my first visit to Orvis and you won’t believe it! In the parking lot they have parking spaces labeled.........? Stay tuned for part 2 of this post in the future. Remember: What’s in Your woods, river, lake or bay? Get outside! 

River Bream

As you may know, in my last post I discussed a recent fishing trip in which I ended up with chiggers. I must report that all is well again and chiggers are no longer partying in my pants. 


I have caught so many bream lately I decided to paint a few. In this painting, I placed the bream on top of a river and gave them a shadow to provide depth. The river snakes through the painting in order to provide interest and encourage the viewer to look around. I have caught many bream in this river so I thought it fitting to combine the two elements together. I considered naming the painting "Filled to the Bream" but more inappropriately decided on "River Bream."

I hope you enjoyed these fun little fish and remember: What's in your woods, river, lake or bay? Get up and find out!

The fish stopped biting but the Chiggers didn’t!

Saturday morning at 5:00 am the alarm sounded and I sprang out of bed for a fishing adventure on a small lake near my home. It’s going to be a hot one; current outside temperature was already 75 degrees. I loaded up and headed out to meet Buttermilk at the lake (Buttermilk is my fishing buddy). 


We arrived at the lake, unloaded, and were in our kayaks by 6:00 am. The sun was well below the trees and the water was very calm, no wind except for Buttermilk (hee hee). I love the lake in the early morning when the fog is dancing on top of the water and you hear the occasional slap of a tail fin. 

Early morning fishing was good, I caught a few brim and a smallmouth on a white grub. As the morning progressed and the temperature went up the fish stopped biting. I tried other lures and even worms, but no luck. I decided to get out of my kayak to walk around and fish from the bank. Bad, bad idea! I believe this is where I picked up a few hitchhikers. As you will find out later, this fishing trip has staying power!

Later I met back up with Buttermilk and he had caught a nice 2lb catfish on oats earlier. Around 1:00 pm the heat of the day had settled in and the fish had stopped biting. At this point, we decided to paddle back to the dock and head to the house. 

The next day, I went to my father-in-law 84th birthday party at a Mexican restaurant. Happy Birthday Pop! May you catch many fish!

GUESS WHAT, this was NOT the only party going on. I had a party in my pants, CHIGGERS! I found myself squirming in my seat hoping the Chiggers would take a siesta. I certainly didn’t want to act like I was at a Chiggers Anonymous meeting and announce to everyone -“Hi I’m Larry and I have Chiggers.” I chose to suffer in silence. It amazes me that these little devils can crawl all the way up your leg and dig in to your private parts when it’s nearly a hundred degrees. The wife said I should put fingernail polish on the bites to kill them. Hmmm, No! I’m not putting women polish on; well I think you men understand. 
One could say - “The fish stopped biting but the chiggers didn’t.” I guess the effects of this fishing trip will last few more days! 


Now I’m headed to Atlanta with the family. I’m feeling lucky and who knows, I might get a shot at a trophy BASS in the near future. Remember: What's in your woods, river, lake or bay? Mine has Chiggers!

Early Morning Tracks

What goes on in the early morning when you are a sleep. A walk near a field.

What's in your woods, river, lake or bay? Go find out!

Crack Mystery Solved!

How did my windshield get broken, it wasn't an act of vandalism? THE GREAT MYSTERY has been solved. It wasn't the wife, thank goodness, or the Animal Hooligans. It was me and my fishing buddy. Apparently when trying to slide a ten foot kayak into a ten foot long SUV something must give and it was the windshield. I didn't find the crack until the next morning. 

Kayak learning number 7, kayaks go on top of the SUV. Now I have a windshield to repair.
What's in your Lake, River, Bay, or Woods? Get up and Get Outdoors!

A Crack Mystery

A GREAT MYSTERY has emerged after my last adventure into the great outdoors. On the morning after my great river fishing trip, while removing my Kayak from inside my SUV in order to store it in the boat house (garage), I found a windshield CRACK. To my surprise there were multiple CRACKS right in the corner of the windshield on the passenger’s side. 

Have I discovered a possible act of vandalism? Who or what did this last night while I was all snug in my bed with not a creature stirring, not even my crickets?  Now, I do have enemies and I suppose I should consider them as suspects.


Suspect number one.
Could it have been the wife? Yes, I said wife. At first I thought no way and then I remembered the Earring Tackle Incident where I snuck into her jewelry and nabbed a nice spoon earring. This earring looked so much like a fishing lure that I actually attached a hook and caught fish. Could she still be secretly upset enough to have taken a hammer to my wind shield? You know how women are about jewelry and shoes, very possessive. To get the full story read "I'm one earring short of a full lobe" a must. Find it next to this post in Great stories.

Suspect number two.
There have been other acts of vandalism here in the ten acre woods. Just the other night there was a major disturbance on the back deck where a shelf full of plants was turned over. Broken glass was everywhere and a graffiti message was sprayed on a wall. The prime suspect was a gang leader called Bandit. Now Bandit is not whom you think, so you must read "Animal Hooligans" to get the full story. Again find it next to this post in June of Great stories.

Suspect number three.
I bet it could have been my fishing buddy. I think he could have snuck over last night and cracked my windshield. What was the motive? Very simple, I always catch more and bigger fish than he does and this is a way to get back at me, secretively.

I know this is not at the level of the Casey Anthony case, but it’s still a mystery and I have a cracked windshield that must be repaired. Take a guess, was it the wife, Bandit or my fishing buddy? I am 100% it was one of these suspects and I will report on whom after I gather all of the evidence. Stay tuned.


What's in your Lake, River, Bay, or Woods? Get up and Get Outdoors!

I’m one earring short of a full lobe!!!

That’s a little earring humor that I use on my wife since I've been using her earrings to fish with. If you are new to this post read the Earring Tackle post below first to understand the whole story.

IT ALL STARTED the other day when I could swear my wife was wearing a pair of my spoon fishing lures. At that moment I had an epiphany or I think that is what it was, but it could have been that chilli-burger yesterday. I digress. Anyway, can you catch fish on jewelry? I decided to find out, except I needed jewelry.  Wifey doesn’t like to fish at all, but likes to eat fish. I think this played into my amazing ability to talk her out of her earrings, although it could have been my epiphany and she wanted me out of the house as fast as possible. One treble hook later, I had Earring Tackle.

Fast forward. Here I am, on the river, sitting in my kayak with my fishing pole in hand and earring tackle knotted on my line. The first cast was good, nice weight, easy hitting target, runs about 2 inches below water, and shiny, but very little action. That could be an issue. However, it looks like a fish could confuse it for last months, 13 year cicada with those big orange eyes. Cast 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,…..15 and I’m starting to get a little concerned, 34, 35, 36 and bang, I get a bite. I start to reel and notice that the fish seems to be small but a fighter. I wondered what kind of fish enjoys women’s earrings. Could it be a Largemouth, Smallmouth, Rock Bass or Catfish? Here it is my first fish catch on jewelry tackle.

I have answered the question; you can catch fish on your wife’s jewelry. Now I find myself staring at women and thinking, WOW I wonder what I could catch with those earrings. I have found that you don’t stare too long or the women run off. Did you know that there’s a store called Clarie’s where you can buy 10 earrings for 10 bucks, 20 lures for .50 cents each? Dang, this could be big, imagine Claire’s Earring Tackle Fishing Tournament. I can see it now, the winner of the Earring Tackle Fishing Tournament caught the winning fish, a 9 pound largemouth, on a pair of his wife’s danglers.

In closing I would like to say-- Hi, I’m Osprey and I like women’s jewelry, to fish with. Sometimes it’s good to be one earring short of a full lobe. I hope you enjoyed the humor! Remember: What’s in your lake, river, bay or woods? Get away from the big screen and get on a big stream!